We’ve all been there. You mind your own business, working hard on a project. But suddenly, your calm is interrupted by a coworker who starts shouting. Let’s learn how to deal with a yelling coworker.
Maybe your coworker is angry about something you did. Or maybe they’re just having a bad day. Either way, it’s not pleasant – and it can be tough to know how to respond.
12 Tips To Deal With A Yelling Coworker
When we all spend so much time at work, we’ll have to deal with a problematic coworker at some point.
And there are many different types of difficult coworkers. But one of the most challenging to deal with is the colleague who yells.
This person may be generally hostile or aggressive. Or they may have a bad day and take it out on you.
In either case, knowing how to deal with a yelling coworker is essential. After all, you don’t want the situation to escalate. And you don’t want to be on the receiving end of their anger.
Here are some tips for how to deal with a yelling coworker:
1. Keep Your Cool:
This may be easier said than done. But it’s essential to stay calm when your coworker is yelling.
If you get defensive or angry, the situation can go out of control quickly. To keep your cool, take a few deep breaths and count to ten before responding.
For instance, you could say something like, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you. Can we please discuss this calmly?”
Or “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize that would bother you. Let’s talk about this.”
This shows that you’re willing to talk about the issue. But it also sets the tone for a more productive discussion.
No matter what, don’t stoop to their level by yelling back. Your coworker is likely looking for a reaction. So, staying calm will take the wind out of their sails.
And when the situation has cooled down, you can talk to your coworker about their behavior.
2. Avoid Confrontation:
If possible, try to avoid getting into a yelling match with your coworker. Instead, wait for a time when things have calmed down to talk to them about the issue.
And if the situation is heated, it may be best to avoid them altogether until they’ve had a chance to cool off.
Confrontation can take many different forms. For instance, you may need to converse with your coworker directly.
Or you may need to speak to your boss or HR about the issue. But in this case, you’re trying to avoid a yelling match.
So it’s best to steer clear until your coworker has had a chance to calm down.
3. Talk To Your Coworker In Private:
If you need to discuss the situation with your coworker, it’s best to do it privately. This way, they can’t use the situation to their advantage.
For instance, they may try to make a scene in front of other people. Or they may try to discredit you.
Or, when you’re in a group, they may try to make you look bad by interrupting or talking over you.
Talking to your coworker in private will help avoid these potential problems.
And it will also give you a chance to have a calm conversation. After all, it can be tough to focus in a group setting.
4. Choose Your Words Carefully:
When you’re talking to your coworker, it’s essential to choose your words carefully. This is true whether you’re having a face-to-face conversation or sending an email.
For instance, avoid using words that could make the situation worse. For instance, don’t call your coworker names or say things that could be interpreted as insulting.
And try to avoid getting emotional. For instance, don’t cry or get angry. Instead, focus on the facts.
For instance, you could say, “I noticed that you’ve been yelling at me lately.
I’m not sure what’s happening, but I’d like to talk to you about it.”
Or “I’m sorry if I did something to upset you. But I’d appreciate it if you didn’t yell at me.”
5. Be Assertive:
It’s essential to be assertive if your coworker is yelling at you. This means standing up for yourself calmly and confidently.
For instance, you could say, “I’m not going to tolerate such treatment. I’d appreciate it if you would respectfully speak to me.”
Or “I’m not going to listen to this. If you want to talk to me, you must do it respectfully.”
Being assertive will help to put an end to the yelling. And it will also help to set the tone for future interactions.
Now the coworker will know that you will not tolerate disrespectful behavior. Thus, they’re likely to change their behavior in the future.
6. Focus On The Issue, Not The Person:
Focusing on the person will snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. Focusing on the person will make them defensive, and they’re likely to dig their heels in.
On the other hand, if you focus on the issue, they’re more likely to be open to a discussion.
For instance, you could say, “I noticed that you’ve been yelling at me lately. I’m not sure what’s happening, but I’d like to talk to you about it.”
This focuses on the issue (i.e., the yelling) and not the person. But if you say, “You’re a jerk for yelling at me,” that focuses on the person and not the issue. And it’s likely to make the situation worse.
7. Listen To Their Side Of The Story:
Listening is an essential part of any discussion. And it’s essential in this case.
This is because your coworker may have a valid reason for yelling. For instance, they may be under a lot of stress.
Or they may feel like you’re not doing your fair share of the work. So it’s essential to listen to their side of the story.
Only then can you determine if there’s a way to resolve the issue. And it’s also important to remember that you may not be entirely innocent in the situation.
For instance, you may have done something that upset your coworker. Or you may have been contributing to the problem without realizing it.
So it’s essential to be open to the possibility that you may need to make some changes too.
8. Try To Find A Solution:
Once you’ve listened to your coworker’s side of the story, it’s time to try to find a solution.
This may involve making some changes yourself. For instance, you may need to be more mindful of your tone.
Or you may need to do a better job of communicating with your coworker. Or, when you’re working on a project together, you may need to be more organized.
But it’s also important to remember that your coworker may need to make some changes too. For instance, they may need to learn how to control their temper.
Or they may need to be more understanding and patient.
9. Seek Help From HR:
If you’ve tried to resolve the issue on your own, but nothing works, it may be time to seek help from HR.
HR can mediate a discussion between you and your coworker. And they can also investigate the situation to see if there’s been any inappropriate behavior.
HR can also help to create a plan to prevent the issue from happening again in the future.
Sometimes, it’s best to leave it to the professionals. They can help to resolve the issue in a way that’s fair to both parties.
And they can also help to prevent the issue from happening again in the future.
10. Document Everything:
If you decide to go the HR route, it’s essential to document everything.
Keep a journal of the events that have taken place. And be sure to include dates, times, and witness names (if possible).
This will help to support your case if it goes to HR. And it will also help to ensure that they deal the issue fairly and justly.
Without documentation, it may be more challenging to prove your case. And it may also be more difficult to get the issue resolved.
11. Don’t Let It Affect Your Work:
It’s important not to let the situation affect your work. This means you should continue doing your job to the best of your ability.
And it also means that you shouldn’t let the situation get you down. It’s important to remember that you’re not the only one who’s dealing with a difficult coworker.
And it’s also important to remember that the situation will improve eventually. You can’t control what your coworker does.
But you can control how you react to the situation. You can make it through this.
12. Talk To A Trusted Friend Or Family Member:
If you’re struggling to deal with the situation, talk to a trusted friend or family member.
This is because they can offer you support and advice. And they can also help to take your mind off of the situation.
Sometimes, it’s helpful to talk to someone outside the situation. They can offer you a different perspective.
And they can also help to remind you that you’re not alone. You can get through this.
So here are some tips on how to deal with a yelling coworker. You can handle this situation. Just remember to stay calm, understand, and try to find a solution.
Should You Quietly Tolerate A Yelling Coworker?
No, it would help if you did not quietly tolerate a yelling coworker. This is because it’s essential to address the issue head-on.
Yelling is not appropriate behavior in the workplace. And it’s essential to make sure that your coworker knows that.
If you don’t address the issue, the situation will only worsen. And it’s also possible that the yelling could turn into something more serious, like harassment.
So it’s essential to nip the problem in the bud. Address the issue with your coworker directly. And if necessary, seek help from HR.
When you have a yelling coworker, start by trying to understand the situation. This is because there may be a reason for the yelling.
Once you understand the situation, try to find a solution. And if you can’t find a solution, seek help from HR.
Remember to document everything. And don’t let the situation affect your work. You can get through this. Just stay calm and be understanding.
Last Updated on 1 year by Shahzaib Arshad
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