To roast a friend coworker, you need to have the best sense of humor. If you don’t have the best sense of humor, it’s probably not worth your time roasting a coworker.
The key how to write a roast someone is to make fun of their flaws in a lighthearted and good-natured way.
How To Roast your Friend Coworker – 10 Things To Remember
If you can do this, you will be sure to get some laughs out of your friend coworker.
There are a few things to keep in mind when trying to roast someone if you are looking for “how do you roast people professionally”.
1. Don’t Be Mean-Spirited:
You are trying to look for ” how to roast a person professionally”. First, don’t be mean-spirited. It would help if you didn’t try to hurt someone‘s feelings when you are roasting them.
Your goal should be to make them laugh. It should not make them feel bad about it.
When in doubt, it’s always better to err on the side of being too funny rather than too mean.
For instance, rather than saying:
“You are the worst driver; you should have your license taken away,” you could say:
“I heard that you failed your driving test… again. I don’t know how do you roast someone to do that. Your car has been parked in the same spot for years!”
This way, you are still making fun of your friend’s driving ability. But you are doing it in a way that will not hurt their feelings. Always use roast jokes for coworker roast jokes but in a positive healthy way.
2. Find Their Flaws:
Second, you need to find their flaws. If you don’t have any material to work with, then you won’t be able to roast them effectively.
Take some time to think about what makes your friend coworker unique. What are their quirks? Do they have any embarrassing stories?
Once you have some material to work with, you can start thinking about how to roast them.
For instance, if they are poor at cooking and you are good at it.
You can make a joke like: “I heard that you burnt the water while making coffee. I am not surprised; even eggs ask for help when they see you.”
3. Be Creative:
Third, be creative. The best roasts are the ones that are original and clever.
You can think of something that no one else has thought of before. This way, you will be sure to get a laugh.
For instance, if your friend coworker is always talking about how they are going to get in shape, you could say:
“I heard that you joined a gym. I hope they have a refund policy because you will never use it.”
Or
“I heard that you joined a gym. I hope they have a daycare there because you’ll need it.”
4. Go For The Low-Hanging Fruit:
Go for the low-hanging fruit. This means that you should focus on the easy jokes.
Don’t try to be too clever or original. Just go for the obvious material.
For instance, if your friend or coworker never stops talking, you could say:
“I heard that you joined a silent retreat. I’m surprised you lasted more than 5 minutes.”
Or if they are always late, you could say:
“I heard that you set your alarm for PM instead of AM. If there were an award for being the latest, you would win.”
5. Be Prepared to Take Some Heat:
Be prepared to take some heat. If you are going to roast someone, you need to be ready to make some jokes yourself.
If someone else tries to roast you, don’t get defensive. Just laugh it off.
If you can do this, you will have a great time roasting your friend coworker.
For instance:
You are making fun of your coworker’s laziness, and they suddenly say:
“I heard that you’re so lazy. You once tried to drown a fish.”
They are joking. So, you should laugh and say:
“That’s true! I was trying to teach it how to swim.”
6. Be Prepared:
Roasts can sometimes get out of hand. If you are not careful, you could say something hurtful or offensive.
This way, you will be less likely to mess up and sound more confident.
Before you start roasting someone, make sure you know their limits.
Find out what they are comfortable with and what they are not. This way, you can avoid crossing the line.
7. Have Fun:
Roasting someone is for fun. Don’t take it too seriously. If you do, then you will ruin the whole experience.
If you are not having fun, then your friend coworker will not have fun either. So relax, let loose, and enjoy yourself.
For instance:
If your coworker is always talking about their diet, you could say:
“I heard that you’re on a new diet. I hope it’s not contagious.”
Or
“I heard that you’re on a new diet. What is it this time? The I-don’t-eat-anything diet?”
8. Be Respectful:
Even though you are making fun of your friend coworker, you should still be respectful.
Don’t say anything too mean or hurtful. And don’t make fun of their appearance or weight.
This is in poor taste, and it will only make you look bad.
For instance:
Instead of saying you are a slacker, you can say:
“You are such a lazy person; a snail once beat you in a race.”
Or
“I heard that you’re so lazy; you once tried to take a nap in the middle of a marathon.”
9. Know When to Stop:
Eventually, you are going to run out of material. And that’s okay. When this happens, it’s time to stop roasting your friend coworker.
Don’t try to force it. Just move on to something else. If you keep going, you will only make yourself look bad.
Meanwhile, your friend coworker will be happy that the torture is finally over.
For instance:
Rather than trying to come up with more material, you could say:
“I think that’s enough roasting for one day. Let’s move on to something else.”
10. Keep It Short:
Don’t drag out the roast. The longer you make it, the more likely you will say something that you will regret.
Plus, your friend coworker is going to get bored. So, keep it short and sweet.
For instance:
If your coworker is always thinking about food, you can say:
“I heard that you love food so much that you once tried to marry a sandwich.”
Or
“I heard that you love food so much, that you named your dog ‘Kibble.'”
Some More Ways You Can Roast A Friend Coworker:
Let’s go situation by situation:
1. If your friend coworker is always making mistakes:
“People say you’re so clumsy, and you once tried to put your contact lens in your ear.”
Or
“Everyone says you’re so clumsy; you once tried to brush your teeth with a banana.”
2. If your coworker is constantly losing things:
“I heard that you’re so forgetful. You once forgot your own name.”
Or
“I heard that you’re so forgetful. You once left your house and couldn’t find it again.”
3. If your coworker is always late:
“I heard that you’re so punctual; your watch is set to ‘Fashionably Late.'”
Or
“I think you’re so punctual, and you once showed up to your own funeral.”
4. If your friend or coworker is always taking things too seriously:
“You’re so serious, and you once called the police because there was a spider in your house.”
Or
“I heard that you’re so serious; you once wrote a book called ‘Fun for Dummies.'”
5. If your friend coworker is always daydreaming:
“You’re such a daydreamer, and you once got lost in your own imagination.”
Or
“You’re such a daydreamer, and you once missed your birthday party.”
6. If your friend coworker is always talking about themselves:
“I heard that you’re so self-centred; you once got lost in your own reflection.”
Or
“I heard that you’re so self-centred, you once sent yourself a gift for your birthday.”
7. If your friend coworker is always tired:
“You are always so tired that even coffee takes a nap when it sees you.”
Or
“If someone says ‘I’m tired,’ you say ‘Welcome to the club.'”
8. If your friend coworker is always telling jokes:
“I heard that you’re such a comedian; you once tried out for the circus.”
Or
“I heard that you’re such a comedian; you once made a Sad clown happy.”
9. If your coworker is always working:
“I heard that you’re such a workaholic; you once forgot to take a vacation.”
Or
“I think you love your work so much; you once tried to marry it.”
Or
“I heard that you’re such a workaholic; you once got fired from your job for being too dedicated.”
10. If your friend coworker is always on their phone:
“You’re so addicted to your phone that you once tried to recharge it by plugging it into the wall.”
Or
“I heard that you’re so addicted to your phone that you once went to the beach and tried to take a selfie with a fish.”
11. If your coworker is always asking for help:
“I heard that you’re so helpless. You once called 911 because you were out of milk.”
Or
“Once, you didn’t have a pencil and had to ask someone to write down your phone number for you.”
12. If your coworker is always talking:
“I think you love the sound of your own voice so much. You once recorded yourself talking and played it back to fall asleep.”
Or
“I heard that you love the sound of your own voice so much. You once called yourself on the phone to hear yourself.”
13. If your coworker is always ready to fight:
“I heard that you’re such a fighter; you once punched a hole in the air and got arrested for assault.”
Or
“I heard that you’re such a fighter; you once got in a fight with yourself and lost.”
14. If your coworker is constantly making excuses:
“You once tried to convince someone that the sky was green.”
Or
“Once, you blamed your dog for eating your homework even though you don’t have a dog.”
15. If your coworker is always messing up:
“I heard that you’re such a mess; you once tried to brush your teeth with shampoo.”
Or
“You’re such a mess, and once a cat mistook you for a litter box.”
16. If your coworker is always hungry:
“I think you’re so famished; you once ate a dictionary because you were looking for words.”
Or
“I heard that you’re so famished; you once chased a chicken around the block.”
17. If your coworker is always talking about love:
“I heard that you’re such a romantic; you once wrote a love letter to yourself.”
Or
“You’re such a romantic; you once tried to set up a date with yourself.”
18. If your coworker is always making plans:
“You’re such a planner; you once tried to schedule an appointment with tomorrow.”
19. If your coworker is always taking pictures:
“I think you love taking pictures so much; you once took a picture of a picture.”
Or
“I heard that you love taking pictures so much; you once took a selfie with the Mona Lisa.”
20. If your coworker is always online:
“I heard that you’re such an internet addict. You once tried to log off from the real world.”
Or
“I heard that you’re such an internet addict. You once Googled ‘How to breathe.'”
Conclusion:
There are an endless amount of ways to roast a friend or coworker.
However, it’s essential to be aware of the tone you’re setting and your relationship with the person you’re roasting.
If you want to keep things light and friendly, focus on their quirks and habits that you find amusing.
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