How To Handle A Manipulative Coworker – 14 Smart Ways

Written By Aleena

It can be tough to deal with a manipulator. They can be very intimidating and keen to create problems for you. Thus, let’s learn how to handle a manipulative coworker with ease.

When you first realize that you have a manipulative coworker, it can be challenging to control them. They may make your job more complicated than it needs to be.

14 Ways To Handle A Manipulative Coworker

Here are some tips on how to deal with a manipulative coworker:

1. Keep Your Distance:

You don’t need to be best friends with a manipulator. It’s better to keep your distance.

This way, they can’t use you as their pawn. When you keep your distance, they can’t control you as easily.

friends with manipulator - How To Handle A Manipulative Coworker

 

On the other hand, a manipulator will try to get close to you. They may act like they’re your friend or try to find out personal information about you.

Then, they can use this against you. But, if you keep your distance, they won’t be able to get close enough to do this.

2. Be Assertive:

A manipulator will try to take advantage of you if you’re not assertive.

You need to be able to stand up for yourself. This way, they can’t control you as easily.

Assertiveness doesn’t mean being rude. It means being confident and firm in what you say.

Some ways to practice it are by:

– Using “I” statements. For example, “I don’t appreciate it when you speak to me like that.”

– Saying no. Manipulators will often try to get you to do things you don’t want to.

– Asking questions. This catches them off guard and makes them less likely to be able to manipulate the situation.

– Being direct. Manipulators often rely on confusion to control the situation.

Practice in front of a mirror or with a friend. This will help you feel more confident when dealing with a manipulator.

3. Avoid Their Trigger Words:

A manipulator will often use certain words to trigger an emotional reaction in you.

These words are “button pushers.” 

Some examples of button pushers are: “always,” “never,” and “should.”

These words make you feel guiltyangry, or upset.

When you hear a button pusher, take a deep breath and count to ten. This will help you avoid reacting emotionally.

Moreover, you can try to reframe the statement. For example, “I always forget to do my work.” Instead, say, “I sometimes forget to do my work.” 

4. Set Boundaries:

It’s important to set boundaries with a manipulator. Let them know what you will and won’t tolerate.

Some boundary ideas are:

– Tell them what you will and won’t tolerate. For example, say, “I’m not going to tolerate you yelling at me. If you do it again, I’m leaving.”

– Set a time limit. For example, say, “I’m only going to talk to you for five minutes. Then I’m leaving.”

– Be clear about your expectations. For example, say, “I expect you to respect my boundaries. If you don’t, I’ll have to take action.”

5. Ignore Their Tactics:

A manipulator will often try different tactics to control you. These can include:

– Guilt trips

– Threats

– Intimidation

Gaslighting

Please don’t fall for their tactics. Instead, ignore them. This will take away their power.

Tactics to control

Some practices to ignore their tactics are:

– Don’t engage. When they try to start an argument, don’t engage. This will only give them what they want.

– Walk away. If they’re being manipulative, walk away. This will show them that their tactics don’t work on you.

– Don’t take the bait. A manipulator will often try to get a reaction out of you. Don’t take the bait. Instead, stay calm and collected.

6. Keep Your Cool:

A manipulator will try to get a reaction out of you. They may say things to upset you or make you angry. But, it’s essential to keep your cool.

Some ways to keep your cool are:

– Practice deep breathing. This will help you stay calm at the moment.

– Count to ten. This will give you time to think before you react.

– Remove yourself from the situation. If you need to, walk away. This will help you avoid saying or doing something you’ll regret.

7. Don’t Get Into Their Games:

A manipulator will often try to play games with you. They may try to make you feel guilty or responsible for your emotions.

But, it’s important not to get into their games. They can be exhausting and counterproductive.

Some games manipulators play are:

7.1 The Blame Game:

Manipulators will often try to make you feel responsible for their emotions.

They may say, “You make me so angry,” or “You’re always doing this.” 

But, it’s essential not to take the bait. You’re not responsible for their emotions.

7.2 The Guilt Trip:

Manipulators tend to use guilt to control people.

They may say things like, “You’re so selfish,” or “You never think about anyone but yourself.” 

But, it’s important not to let their words get to you. Guilt is a powerful emotion, but you don’t have to listen to them.

7.3 The Silent Treatment:

The silent treatment is a favorite tactic of manipulators. They may give you the silent treatment when they’re upset or angry.

But, it’s important not to let them get to you. The silent treatment is a form of emotional manipulation. 

They’re trying to control you with their silence. But, you don’t have to give in.

7.4 The Jealousy Game:

Manipulators will often try to make you jealous. They may talk about other people interested in or show you pictures of them.

But, it’s important not to feel this emotion as it will only give them what they want.

7.5 The Threat:

Manipulators will often try to threaten you. They may say, “I’ll leave if you don’t do what I want,” or “I’ll tell your boss if you don’t listen to me.” 

Threats can be scary, but it’s important not to give in. They’re only trying to control you with their words.

8. Trap Them Into Their Games:

One way to deal with a manipulator is to trap them in their games.

For example, if they’re trying to make you feel guilty, make them feel guilty instead.

Or, if they’re trying to control you with their words, use your words to manage them.

This won’t be easy, but it’s essential to stand up for yourself.

Some techniques to trap them into their games are:

– Call them out. For example, say, “I know what you’re trying to do, and I’m not falling for it.” This will show them that you’re on to their tricks.

Trap them in their games.

– Use their own words against them. For example, say, “If you don’t do what I want, I’ll leave.” This will show them that their tactics won’t work on you.

– Turn the tables. For example, if they’re trying to make you feel guilty, make them feel guilty instead. Say something like, “I know you’re trying to make me feel guilty, but it’s not going to work.”

9. Keep A Record:

A manipulator will often try to gaslight you. This means they’ll try to make you doubt your memoriesexperiences, and perceptions.

They may do this by:

– Lying

– Denying they said or did something

– Twisting your words

– Makes you feel like you’re crazy

But, it’s important not to let them gaslight you. One way to do this is to keep a record of their manipulations. This can be in the form of:

– Emails

– Text messages

– Voice recordings

– Journals

Keeping a record will help you prove that you’re not crazy. It will also help you stand up to them when they try to gaslight you.

10. Take Your Case To The Boss:

If you have a manipulative coworker, it’s essential to take your case to the boss.

This is especially true if they affect your work or make you feel uncomfortable.

Some things you can say to the boss are:

– “I feel like my coworker is manipulating me.”

– “I’m concerned about my work performance because of my coworker’s manipulations.”

– “I don’t feel comfortable at work because of my coworker’s manipulations.”

Taking your case to the boss will help you get the support you need to deal with the manipulative coworker.

If they don’t listen much, you have to go to HR.

12. Go To HR:

If your boss doesn’t believe you or doesn’t take your concerns seriously, it’s time to go to HR.

Going to HR will help you get the support you need to deal with the manipulative coworker.

HR has policies to protect you from workplace harassment.

They can also help you create a plan to deal with the manipulative coworker.

13. Seek Support:

Dealing with a manipulator can be difficult. It’s essential to seek support from others. This can be in the form of:

Seek support from others.

– Talking to a trusted friend or family member about what’s going on

– Joining a support group for people who have been manipulated

– Seeing a therapist help you deal with the emotional fallout of being manipulated

Seeking support will help you cope with the effects of being manipulated. It will also help you develop a plan to deal with the manipulator.

14. Understand What You Deserve:

A manipulator will often try to make you doubt yourself. They may say things like, “You’re not good enough,” or “You deserve this.”

But, it’s important to remember that you are worthy and deserving of respect. No one has the right to manipulate you.

It’s your right to get respect, and you deserve to be in control of your own life.

There you have it, 14 ways to deal with a manipulative coworker. Remember, you are not alone.

Some people can help you. You are worthy. If you or someone you know is being manipulated, don’t hesitate to reach out for help.

Conclusion:

To deal with a manipulative coworker, you should start by ignoring their attempts to control you.

If that doesn’t work, try using their own words against them or turning the tables.

You should also record their manipulations and take your case to the boss.

If the boss doesn’t believe you, go to HR. Finally, seek support from others and remember what you deserve.

Last Updated on 1 month by Shahzaib Arshad

Aleena

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