How To Ask Out A Coworker In 6 Steps – 30+ Tips & Tricks

Written By Aleena

So, you’re interested in that cute new girl or guy who started at your office? Let’s help you learn how to ask out a coworker. We care for your romantic life.

Asking out a coworker can be intimidating, but remember that you’re two humans on the same team. You don’t hate each other. 

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How To Ask Out A Coworker – 6 Steps

Let’s look at 6 step to follow to ask out a coworker. Just remember that it never hurts to be straightforward:

1. Start With Talking To Them Casually: 

It never hurts to start by talking with your coworker and getting to know them better. If you feel like they open up and trust you, they might be up for something more.


Once you think they trust you, ask them to take a break with you and grab a cup of coffee.

2. How To Ask Out A Coworker – Ask Them To Grab A Coffee With You: 

This generally means going for a coffee or tea together. It doesn’t mean hiring someone to make drinks for you in your office kitchenette. 

While grabbing a drink sounds casual enough, it can be pretty nerve-wracking to ask out a coworker. If you do it right, though, the date will go well, and you’ll get to know them even better.

3. Be Direct: 

If your coworker is everything you’ve been looking for, it might be time for you to make yours. It’s essential to be very direct about your intentions. 

There’s no point in playing games with them. You need to get the message across that you’re interested and see where they stand.

4. How To Ask Out A Coworker – Ask For A Date:

You may decide that it’s time to ask your coworker out on a date. If you like them, then this is the easiest step. 

Say you’re interested in going out for dinner or drinks and see if they’re up for it. Remember to go somewhere public.


 It is helpful if you’re nervous about clarifying that you want to be more than friends.

5. If They Say No:

If they turn you down, don’t let it get to you. It’s a common reaction and one that you have to be ready for – so take it in your stride. 

There is plenty of fish in the sea – of people at your office!

6. How To Ask A Coworker Out – If They Say Yes: 

Now, this is what we’ve been working so hard towards! 

Now you’ve just got to make sure everything goes well on the date. Have fun out there!

How To Plan The Date – 15 Things To Remember

How to ask out coworker?. Now that you’ve got your coworker in a good mood and they said yes to going out, it’s time to plan the date. Try designing for somewhere public in this case.

If they’re your soulmate, now is the time to be brave and find somewhere you can get romantic.

1. To Make Sure You Don’t Crash And Burn, Go Somewhere Public:

It would help if you took your coworker somewhere public to make sure neither of you goes further than you want. 

Remember that you’ve got a professional relationship. It’s always lovely to re-enforce the boundaries and remind yourself and them. 

2. How To Ask Out A Coworker – Ask Them What They Like To Do: 

Once you’ve picked somewhere public, find out what they like doing for fun. If they love going to concerts or movies, then plan! 


It may seem like a lot of effort but trust us – it’ll be worth it in the end when everything goes off without a hitch.

3. A Great Date Activity Is Anything That Gets The Two Of You Close Together: 

This will be fun if your coworker is shy, even if it’s on the tame side. If they’re outgoing and not nervous, try something like skydiving or bungee jumping. 

Talk to them about their interests before you plan out your date. Please make sure you get them somewhere that suits them well.

4. Try To Have Some Fun: 

Finally, remember that while it’s great to talk with your coworker and get to know them better – it’s still a date!

 There are plenty of ways for both of you to have some lighthearted fun. So chat all night long – but don’t forget to laugh together too!

5. How To Ask Out A Coworker – Try Something New Together:

Go out and do something new together. If you’re both sports-lovers, try playing some basketball or go to a hockey game together on your date. 

If neither of you is a fan of athletics, find something else that interests you. It can be shopping or clubbing. 

Remember that this is about having fun with them so take turns choosing events.

6. Make Reservations:

Once you’ve decided on a date and an activity, it’s time to book something. If you’re taking your coworker out for dinner, try to find a restaurant accessible to get a table in.

 Remember – you want this date over with before either of you gets bored! Make sure the reservations are six or fewer hours long.

7. If You’re Staying In, Try Movie Night: 

If this is your first time hanging out with them one-on-one, then make sure the genre is something familiar – like:

– Action

– Comedy. 

If they reach over to share popcorn, it’s probably safe to lean in and kiss them. But wait until the end of the movie! Chivalry isn’t dead yet.

8. Check The Weather: 

Now you know what you’re doing, check the weather forecast for the day of your date. 

Ensure that there’s no rain or snow expected that could ruin your plans unless it doesn’t bother either of you. 

If the weather is terrible and neither of you wants to brave it, try and find a way to make your date fun inside!

9. Pick Out An Amazing Outfit: 

It’s time to dress for your date! Try picking out an outfit that shows off your best physical features without going too far.

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 It might be cold outside, so put on something that will keep you warm but still looks flattering.

 A nice sweater or blazer can do wonders if you’re self-conscious about your body. Check with them first about the dress code.

10. How To Ask Out A Coworker – Make A Backup Plan:

If it turns out everything seems like it’s falling apart around you, make sure you have a backup plan. 

If it’s meant to be, then you’ll find a fantastic time to go out together – so don’t stress too much!

11. Be Confident And Have A Great Time: 

Finally, remember that if they say yes once, you two can have a fantastic time together. 

So relax and focus on what’s important – spending all of your time together in the best way possible! Good luck, champ.

12. Bring Flowers Or Another Gift: 

If you’re not the kind of person to hit things off immediately, then bring a small gift – like flowers or chocolates.

 This will help your coworker remember your first date fondly. Hopefully, it will create an atmosphere where both of you can have fun together!

13. Keep The Conversation Going:

Remember – this date is about both of you! So make sure that you’re asking them questions and making them feel comfortable. 

If they bring something up, then change the subject right away. There’s no need to force it unless they seem interested.

14. How To Ask Out A Coworker – End The Night On A High Note: 

When the time comes, pick a restaurant that will satisfy both of you. However, avoid Anything too fancy or cheap. 

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Make sure by the end of dinner. They’ll still be hungry for more time with you! Afterward, take them somewhere nearby where you can have fun together one-on-one – like:

– An ice cream shop if it’s summertime.

15. If You Want To Ask Your Coworker Out Again:

If you have a good time on your date, don’t be afraid to ask your coworker out again! They might turn you down – or they might say yes. 

If they said yes, then spend some time thinking about where to go next. Grab another cup of coffee? 

Or hang out during lunch again – if things are going well, then there’s no need for Anything significant until you feel ready!

10 Coworker Dating Tips To Remember:

Here are ten tips from someone who isn’t a professional dating coach but should be:

1. Make Sure You Don’t Ruin Anything: 

It’s one thing to ask someone out for a drink or two after work. It’s another if you make everyone in the office think you’re together when you aren’t. 

So please don’t get any funny ideas about grabbing your coworker’s hand or stepping on their feet. Keep that date professional!

2. How To Ask Out A Coworker – Send Them A Thank You Note: 

This isn’t something people do anymore, but it makes a huge impression. Writing down your thoughts after the date can convince your crush to go with you out again.

funny ideas

 And this time, maybe they’ll come round to thinking of you as more than just friends. Good luck!

3. Handle Rejection With Class: 

If your coworker flat out rejects you and says they’re not interested, don’t let it get to you. There are plenty of people out there who would be lucky to date you.

 Feel confident about yourself. That’s all that matters. If your coworker was a dud or not what you expected at all – then you need to look no further!

4. Don’t Get Cozy In The Workplace:

No PDA’s! That’s a general rule for many relationships. It should especially be true if you want to keep your coworkers’ options open. 

Push those boundaries too far, and everyone in the office will feel uncomfortable.

5. Keep Things Casual For Now: 

If your coworker has agreed to go out with you, that’s great. But don’t give them the impression that it’s Anything more than casual.

know them better

 It means no hand-holding or cuddling in the hallways (business only). Your relationship is still new, and it may not be worth getting too invested yet.

6. Keep Checking In: 

There’s nothing wrong with checking in now and again to see how they feel. Check if they’re enjoying themselves or if their feelings have changed about you. 

It shows that you care and show interest, though remember not to seem clingy.

7. Remember That There Are Boundaries: 

Even if you’ve been on a few dates, there are still boundaries at work. For instance, don’t meet up at lunchtime. 

Don’t go on a road trip together (unless you’re already in a relationship). Keep your work and personal lives separate!

8. Don’t Give Up Too Easy: 

If they aren’t enthusiastic or quick to commit, try not to let it put you off. Your coworker is trying to keep things casual. 

However, they might have an interest under the surface. Be patient and wait for them to make their move!

9. Tell Them What You Want: 

Don’t be afraid of taking charge and telling them precisely what you want – as long as it isn’t harassing them via text message after they’ve gone home for the day.

How To Ask Out A Coworker

Being direct means there’s less room for confusion and misinterpretation.

10. Stay In Contact With Work Friends:

It’s essential to contact your other friends from work. It is necessary to work on projects or have been out for drinks a few times before. 

If something happens at the office that makes them unhappy, they’ll tell their friends.

How To Date A Coworker – 16 Incredible Tips

You have to consider many factors when dating a coworker. It is because there are company policies involved too. To ease it out, here are the steps on how to date a coworker:

1. Ask Your Boss About Company Policies:

Before you ask your coworker, you must first think about company policies. Some companies will not allow their employees to date each other.

thinking of you

It is based on protecting workers from harassment and discrimination lawsuits.

There are laws such as:

– The Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC) bars sexual harassment.

– The Fair Labor Standards Act prohibits supervisors from giving an unfair advantage to romantic partners.

So, if you want to date a coworker, approach your boss first before you ask your coworker out.

It will be awkward on both of your parts if they find out that you have been ignoring company policies later on.

2. Ask Your Coworker – How To Date A Coworker;

The next step in dating a coworker is asking your feelings to the person involved. Try getting to know the person better by planning a group outing after work (if possible).

Your coworkers can be friends, which could perhaps become more than that. If both of you like each other, then go for it!

The worst thing that can happen is that they say no or say yes but soon grow tired of waiting for you to make a move.

So try the group outing plan first.If the person asks you out on a date, it means that they want to have a relationship with you already.

Make sure to keep yourself from getting too attached. Things may not work out upon request. And even if they say no, remain friends.

3. Start As Friends:

Sometimes dating coworkers can be awkward. It is especially when the dynamics of your working relationship change overnight.

The best way to deal with this uncomfortable feeling is to stay well within your territory. Be professionals at all times.


So, always start as friends before moving towards anything else between you. That way, you will not complicate your working relationship.

To become a friend, you must try your best to maintain an upbeat personality at work.

Moreover, consider your coworker’s personal space. They may not want to share their personal life with you at work.

So, please don’t ask them too many questions about the career or anything sensitive in nature.

4. Know Who To Avoid & Pick – How To Date A Coworker:

Do not date a coworker if it will lead to office gossip and drama. If this happens, the dating person might get blamed for your actions even if they had nothing to do with it.

It can ruin both of your careers, so stay away from these types of people. You also need to know who to pick when dating a coworker.

Try choosing someone in another department or level. No one will notice your relationship too much.

If somebody finds out about you two, avoid telling them that you’re coworkers.

Wait till it is no longer an issue, which completely clears both of you from office gossip and drama. Having different departments means that neither of you gets overwhelmed with work stress.

5. Keep Your Relationship Secret:

If possible, keep your relationship a secret. If not, you might find out that somebody may start spreading rumors.

It can ruin both of your careers if things go wrong. Make sure to keep the news to yourselves until everything is better.

To keep it a secret, try these tips:

– Stay in your department and do not spend time together in each other.

– Limit socializing outside of work (like Facebook or Twitter).

– Speak at a low volume when talking about the relationship to avoid attention from others.

– Keep your relationship private, go on dates and communicate through chat/texting.

– Do not sit together if there are empty seats available at the same time.

6. Be Understanding – How To Date A Coworker:

It will help if you understand when dating a coworker. They will become too overwhelmed with stress from their jobs.

How To Date A Coworker

It might sometimes affect how they behave towards you. You have to deal with this type of pressure by making them feel good and happy around you.

Don’t let them worry at all and do the best job possible. It’s also essential to stay supportive in arguments and disagreements.

Understanding also includes putting your problems to the side. It means working out any issues you may have with them in private.

You can try turning to a friend or family member if it’s bothering you. However, do not speak about your relationship problems with somebody else.

7. Avoid Taking Risks:

Dating a coworker can be risky. Make sure that your relationship is worth risking all the desired things you have at work. For instance:

If your relationship doesn’t last long, you might lose your job or get fired. It makes the working environment an uncomfortable place.

Moreover, never make promises to each other that are hard to keep. You can plan for future dates together.

But do so as long as they ensure that your relationship develops enough before taking any risks.

Also, don’t push boundaries by making physical contact with them too soon unless both of you are willing to do so.

8. Stay Flirty & Casual – How To Date A Coworker:

Be flirty and casual when dating a coworker, especially if they enjoy this aspect of how you act around them.

It also means that they are attracted to you the way you are, even if it’s in a professional industry.

If flirting and casualness are not your things, then this relationship will end badly for both of you.

Somebody will get too overwhelmed with stress. Anyone can decide to break off the relationship after a while because of how hard it was to maintain it.


So, be open and honest about yourself and who you are by showing them all your traits, even if it may seem cheesy at first.

9. Have Fun:

Make sure to have fun together when dating a coworker. Otherwise, there isn’t much purpose behind why two people should date each other.

However, make sure not to add any work-related tasks into the mix when hanging out. That could create a lot of unnecessary stress and pressure.

You can go to the movies together, eat lunch together in their department, etc. But do not make plans to work on projects or something like this.

Avoid it unless one of you is already in charge and you plan for them to join.

10. Tips For A Successful Relationship:

Lastly, remember these tips to have a successful relationship with your coworker:

– Make sure that they want the same thing from the relationship as before going forward.

– Always be honest about everything, even if it’s hard because hiding things will worsen.

– If arguments get too heated, take a break from each other for a bit of a bit, even if it’s complicated.

– If you are the one ending the relationship, do not leave another message to explain yourself. That will create unnecessary drama and stress.

– You don’t have to hang out with their friends or family members unless they want you to.

11. How To Date A Coworker – Things To Avoid:

Here are some things to avoid when dating a coworker, such as:

– Don’t ask your coworkers on a date if they are already in a relationship. Chances are, they will decline this offer unless it’s one of their friends.

– Don’t fall into the trap of thinking that dating them will result in you getting whatever you want. It won’t work out exactly as planned every time.

– Do not drink too much alcohol at an event together because things can get out of hand. It’s better to keep yourself and them sober if something goes wrong later.

candy bar

Spreading rumors and gossiping about each other is unprofessional. It creates unnecessary tension between employees who overhear these conversations.

Avoid doing this whether you are in a relationship together or not.

12. What Are Your Responsibilities:

Remember your responsibilities when dating a coworker. It’s easy to get lost in the heat of the moment and forget what you should and shouldn’t do. Some examples would be:

– Do not date someone you work under because doing this will create an immediate conflict of interest.

It would help if you also didn’t date somebody who has authority over you at work.

– If both partners are leaving their jobs, it might be okay to consider giving the relationship a shot.

Otherwise, if only one of you is going, dating them would create pain for you. They won’t want to date you back.

– Avoid dating your coworker if you plan on working somewhere else shortly. It will be impossible for this relationship to succeed unless they leave.

13. Ask For Confidence:

If you are unsure about asking someone out after work hours, try asking for their confidence.

See how things go first. If they decline, then know that the person isn’t interested in dating anyone.

If they are not confident enough to say yes, which could mean they may change their minds one day down the road.

Suppose they accept your offer because you asked them out, chances are they already have some feelings for you. It wouldn’t be wise to decline this offer.

14. How To Date A Coworker In The Future:

If you plan on having a relationship with somebody who is currently your coworker, get confirmation. Make sure if their job might change in the next year or so.

If they plan on staying at their company for years more, this will create an apparent barrier. It won’t be easy to overcome down the road.

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You may also want to ask yourself what termination would look like if one got fired from their job. It could affect your relationship afterward.

If there is no real possibility of termination, then it is better. If both people agree that they don’t mind working together after dating, go ahead and ask them out already!

15. How To Know If You Should Date A Coworker:

Ask yourself a couple of questions before you date somebody, your coworker. Some examples will be if this person enjoys spending time outside of work.

They make a good impression on you during the first few conversations you have. If the answer to both of these questions is “yes,” then feel free to ask them out.

Otherwise, it might be better for both of you to continue working at the job as coworkers. Don’t be personal lovers because things can get very messy afterward.

At least until after one of them gets fired from their job or quits first!

16. When Is It Okay To Date A Coworker?

It is okay to begin dating somebody who is your coworker if most of these things are true about them:

– You already know that they like you.

– They make a good impression on you the first time you talk to each other.

– Their job doesn’t change any time soon (in the next year or so).

– Mutual termination wouldn’t be an issue.

– Dating them won’t cause problems between you and another coworker.

– You don’t mind having them as a coworker after you both break up.


Here’s how to ask out a coworker. Directly ask them out! Be your usual self, don’t make things awkward or weird. 

Have fun with it and let the chips fall where they may. Plan the perfect date by picking things you know they like.

On the date, keep it romantic and professional at the same time. If they say no, don’t let that stop you from asking again in the future. 

Wait for them to make their move. If they aren’t very enthusiastic, don’t give up too quickly.

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